


Morphine and Chocolate

by NellieOleson



Category: Stargate SG-1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-29
Updated: 2012-03-29
Packaged: 2017-11-02 17:00:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/371309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NellieOleson/pseuds/NellieOleson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Unending fic based on the prompt of John Hiyatt lyrics.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Morphine and Chocolate

  
You see time, time is our friend  
cause for us there is no end  
And all you gotta do is have a little faith in me  
I said I will hold you up, I will hold you up  
Your love gives me strength enough  
So have a little faith in me  
  
 _  
  
  
If this works…_  
  
*******  
  
Teal'c wandered the halls often, listening to his slow, measured steps echoing softly off the concrete and steel. Today, he walked to remember; most days, he walked to forget. It made little difference. The memories of his lost life surfaced at will. Like the Goa'uld he once carried, they had a mind of their own-these memories that had been part of his life among the Tau'ri longer than they had not.   
  
Sometimes it seemed an impossible burden. One he could not share, though they tried, every one of them, to get a piece of it.   
  
His journey ended, as it often did recently, among the science labs. This area of the base was kept cooler than most others and a chill ran up his bare arms. He made his way to a familiar doorway where he stood watching Colonel Carter  
  
 _(Samantha)_  
  
work. It was something he'd grown used to in another life. More than grown used to, he'd come to depend on it.   
  
Her work here had a less desperate, but familiar rhythm that had been an essential part of their lives for so long. She worked. He watched. She grew excited. He encouraged. She failed. He comforted.   
  
He nodded in greeting when she finally noticed him in her doorway. "Come in, Teal'c." There was no further conversation. Colonel Carter simply went on with her work, pausing occasionally to stare at something Teal'c could not see.   
  
Something was bothering her, he could see it in every movement she made. Teal'c waited. There would be no hand on her shoulder, in her hair, on her cheek. Here, now, he could only sit and watch until she was ready to confide in him. That decision might never come. There were others she could speak with now.   
  
She stopped suddenly and swiveled her chair around to face him. “The IOA wants to send me to Atlantis,” she said. She spoke the words too quickly, like she'd been practicing them over and over in her mind.  
  
The chill in the air seemed to grow deeper though the temperature had not changed. “Do you not wish to go?”  
  
“I’ve been here a long time,” she said. It was both and answer and an avoidance of the question.  
  
“Indeed.”  
  
She smiled at him but it wasn't enough to bring the warmth back to the room. “I knew you were going to say that," she told him.  
  
Teal'c knew her decision had already been made though she thought she was still deliberating. She would go and leave him behind. “You will be missed,” he said.  
  
She already was.  
  
*******  
  
 _They are still optimistic when Colonel Carter figures out how to make new supplies out of nothing. It's an amazing feat. She expects great things from herself so Teal'c savors the wonder of it for both of them.  
  
She thinks she is buying them a few more months to come up with a solution. Later, after the years have stolen their optimism, she will wonder if she did nothing more than condemn them to an unending hell.   
  
Colonel Mitchell is the first to try the device. He's still smiling and making jokes. His anger and bitterness have yet to surface. "Tea. Earl Grey. Hot," he demands.   
  
Colonel Carter smacks him lightly on the back of the head. Teal'c feels like he missed something and he catches a flash of confusion on Vala's face before she disguises it with her ever-ready smile. "It doesn't work like that," Colonel Carter says.  
  
"Damn."  
  
They laugh together. It's something they don't do often enough.  
_  
**********  
  
Teal'c stayed close to Sam in the days before she left. If she thought it odd, she didn't say so. He watched while she personally calibrated each piece of equipment and made detailed reports about all of her ongoing research. There was a sense of reluctance in everything she did--the way she ran her hands over the endless racks of blinking, humming electronic devices, paused her work to stare at the empty white board.  
  
Her new position would be one of diplomacy, mediation and leadership. The trappings of her life as a scientist will be left behind. Teal'c had no doubt that she would perform her new duties  admirably, would excel at them through pure determination. He doubted that she would love them like she loved this part of her life.  
  
He was with her the day she stopped working and took time to clear out her lab for good. Everything was quiet, waiting. There wasn't much to pack but it took a long time anyway.   
  
Colonel Mitchell, Daniel, and Vala showed up randomly throughout the day. Colonel Mitchell brought lunch in a red and white cooler that was so bulky it needed to be pulled along on two wheels. He insisted that he was there to help with the packing, but seemed to create twice as much work as he accomplished.    
  
Daniel brought decorations for her future office; statues, and photos, and fragile, old books. Teal'c tried to picture her in an office surrounded by objects that had no purpose, books that held no answers.   
  
The photos were mostly of SG-1. Reminders of the past ten years. Teal'c wondered if Daniel thought she would forget who they were, what they meant to her.   
  
It was something Teal'c thought about a lot. Forgetting.  
  
Vala inspected everything Daniel brought, no doubt trying to discern if any of the items were valuable. She picked out a promising figurine no bigger than Teal'c's finger and held it up to the light.  
  
"Put that down," Daniel said.  
  
Vala dropped the object immediately. She smiled at Daniel and winked at Teal'c when Daniel walked off to talk with Colonel Mitchell. "He never brings me anything," she said.  
  
Nobody was surprised when O'Neill walked through the door, looking uncomfortable and trapped in his uniform. They all made excuses to leave though Colonel Carter and O'Neill seemed not to notice.   
  
Colonel Carter didn't come back to the SGC until the day she departed for Atlantis. She came back alone and Teal'c envied O'Neill for not having to witness the event.  
  
*******  
  
 _"Jack loved classical music."  
  
Teal'c only nods. There is nothing to say. She doesn't talk about O'Neill, at least not directly, but Teal'c knows he is a constant presence in her mind. Later she will cry on his shoulder, mourn the loss of something for which she'd waited so long.   
  
He has never seen a cello before, but he takes an immediate liking to it. It is a fine instrument with a powerful voice and graceful lines. A perfect choice though it looks warm and out of place in the cold gray room.  
  
"We will find a way back," he tells her and he means it. Whatever it takes. Teal'c is willing to do it for her.   
  
"Sure, Teal'c." She runs a hand over the fine-grained wood. She's starting to doubt herself, to doubt him. "Sure we will."_  
  
**********  
  
If he'd been able to explain his absence, he wouldn't have been there to see her off. Teal'c has never understood the Taur'i custom of celebrating the departure of colleagues, especially those who will be missed so dearly.   
  
Vala strolled in and kissed Colonel Carter, leaving her startled but amused. “I’ve always wanted to do that,” she said before moving to Daniel's side.   
  
Teal’c looked at Daniel Jackson. He was smiling at Vala and seemed to be the only one in the room who was not surprised by her actions.   
  
Theirs was the most difficult secret to keep. They still had a chance.  
  
**********  
  
 _Landry's death is the final blow. She gives up completely, accepts the fact that she will likely die on the ship and no one will know what became of her.  
  
She shares his bed now and he loves her with a fierceness that surprises him. He has no doubt that she loves him too, she always has. Her love is the same as it has always been; his has grown into something much deeper.  
  
She plays often, and he can see that she's thinking of O'Neill every time she picks up her instrument. He's been her friend, her lover. But in the end, he's really only been a substitute.  
_  
********  
  
Teal'c wandered the halls often, listening to his slow, measured steps echoing softly off the concrete and steel. Today, he walked to forget; most days, he walked to remember. It made little difference...  
  
Her lab was quiet now, abandoned and forgotten. It was still empty and unused. The other researchers at the SGC seemed unwilling to tread there, only stopping by to borrow equipment that couldn't be found elsewhere. Even then, they had an air of reverence, speaking in low voices and making sure to leave everything in its place. Hallowed ground, Daniel Jackson had called it. He had been joking, but Teal'c thought there was much truth in that label.   
  
Teal’c was relieved that she was gone, though he missed her more with each day that passed. He knew now how O’Neill felt for so many years and why he finally left.   
  
  
*******  
  
 _She's restless beside him in the bed they've shared for so many years. Teal'c reaches out and puts a large hand on her hip. She feels fragile under the thin sheet and Teal'c is struck by how much and how fast she has aged.  
  
He wonders sometimes what he will do when they are all gone.  
  
How long will he be alone here before the blast finally catches up with the ship.  
  
She rolls over to face him, her face lit in a way Teal'c hasn't seen in years. It frightens him as much as it pleases him.  
  
"I have an idea," she tells him.  
  
Teal'c listens while she explains concepts and theories he will never understand.  
  
“If this works…”  
  
He only nods as he pulls her close and wraps himself around her.  
  
If this works, he will lose her.   
  
But he will remember. For both of them.  
_


End file.
